Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
