Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
