i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
