at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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