can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
