Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
