You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
