So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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