Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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