I got chris browned last night
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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