just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
