They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
