in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
wow bdsm is so cute
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