I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
