I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We are all done wearing pants today
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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