Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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