Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
