you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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