I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize