I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
two words: eviction party
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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