No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Two words: blizzard sex
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
