And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
