Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
