i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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