I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
