Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
