dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
