Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
