weddingsv make me drug and hornr
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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