I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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