btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
