What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
