so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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