beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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