I wannas sexs uuuuu
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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