Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
