fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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