Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
