So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
