Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
