I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
