Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
In America we eat man semen.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
