he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
