Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Drunk is not a location!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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