Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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