i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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