i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
