I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
