dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
