ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
