theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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