Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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