Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
