was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
