i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i drank out of a bidet.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
