worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
