If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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