These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
