guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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