Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
