I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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