we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
