On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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